he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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