the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My bed smells like the plague
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
