Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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