Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
