I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We left an ass print on the piano.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
