My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
