Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
