# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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