I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
