why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
