the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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