oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
