You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
