his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
