Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
