he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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