you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
