Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
