38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
