oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can Purell be used as lube?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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