Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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