Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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