I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
