But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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