Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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