Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
