last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
