How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
