This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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