And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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