Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
