what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The power of my boobs compel you
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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