Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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