I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
then he tried to convert me to islam
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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