How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
