Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
