You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
