My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Randomize
