Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
