are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
