I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
