You work out of a Hotel?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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