i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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