You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
