He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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