True but thats because hes a fetus.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
