Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
