his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
