i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
