you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
