So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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